Introduction

Let me introduce myself. My name is Tortoil, and I am completely imaginary, but I can blog anyway. It’s my prerogative, as an imaginary being, stop questioning the viability of it. Where did I begin? Well, it’s a long story, but I shall précis it. There was a squeaky noise coming from under the bed in the house I live in. Turns out it was the noise of my gammy leg. I developed from there.

I am a cross between a turtle and a tortoise. Basically, I look like a tortoise, but I have a slightly pointier nose than the average tortoise (and a gammy leg, which squeaks.) It’s a long, and scandalous, story as to how I got to be a ‘cross-breed’ like this… involving a seedy bar near the harbour and my great-grandmother, who was known throughout the land for her rebelliousness as a teenager. In those days ‘cross-pollination’ (ahem) was severely frowned upon. I’ll save that genealogical story for another day though.

So why do I need a blog? To chronicle my journeys, my stories, I am a busy Tortoil. I go places, I see people, I learn new dances to support our local soccer team in the World Cup. I need an outlet, basically, because I have a lot to say, as any good tortoil would.